Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D. and Beth Stephens, Ph.D. interviewed me for their book, The Explorer’s Guide to Planet Orgasm. Toward the end of the interview, they asked me where I was placing my attention these days. I told them I was concerned about how porn was being used by millions of individuals. Instead of sharing what I said in that interview, I would like to speak directly to sex therapists and coaches about how their clients use porn.
Dear Therapists,
Too often, when an individual mentions problems with porn in therapy, the content of the porn watched or the person’s relationships become the focus. I’d like to suggest an effective somatic alternative.
Porn so completely grabs our attention that we forget to enjoy our own sensuous, aroused bodies. Porn grabs our attention away from our orgasms. This is the problem with porn today from a somatic perspective. Millions of masturbators report that watching porn is boring. They can only say this because they are not paying attention to their arousal and to their orgasms. You can help your disembodied clients to remember their bodies.
Here are two easy-to-learn somatic practices to upgrade your clients’ experience of arousal. These are called “leverage practices” because a small effort by your clients can produce astonishing and life-changing results in their bodies and lives.
- Suggest your clients Stand and Move while they enjoy porn. This small shift from almost motionless prone sex to standing and moving can jolt them out of their habits while they are playing with their arousal.
- The Pendulum, the second core practice, involves your clients periodically turning away from the porn for five breaths while noticing sensations within their aroused bodies and then returning their attention to the porn.
These two simple but effective practices were created within the profession of Sexological Bodywork as ways for individuals to enjoy the pleasures and benefits of embodiment while masturbating to porn.
You can send your clients to the free website, www.HealthyPornWatching.com, for video instruction on these two core practices. You will find more in-depth video teaching about Healthy Porn Watching at www.OrgasmicYoga.com.